Stepping into Recovery from Domestic Violence

Domestic Abuse Causes Symptoms of Traumatic Stress

Jul 9, 2009

The cuts and bruises from physical attacks in an abusive relationship eventually heal. It is the emotional scarring that leaves a deep etched imprint.

“Suffering post-traumatic stress disorder is a common condition for women living with domestic violence. It is like living in a war zone” writes Amy Norman in her biography, Living with The Devil. She lived in a domestic violent situation with two children for many years, and after a brave attempt in escaping the first time, found that she was always looking over her shoulder, so to speak, and eventually her partner found where she and her two children were living, and coerced her back.

By the time of her second break- out she was referred to a psychiatrist who was the first professional person to believe and empathise with her story. He told her that ‘war veterans suffer similar symptoms” as women that have lived in domestic violence.

After having a diagnosis and recognising there are names to the symptoms, the abused person can begin to recover. It is no longer a state of unknown fear that is controlling the victim. For Amy Norman, her recovery began at the point she learnt that being abused by her partner was not her fault and that certain conditions that she was experiencing -her fear anger and anxiety – were due to the trauma that he had inflicted upon her.

Symptoms of Post Traumatic stress

Living in an abusive relationship leaves women “doubting themselves and their own sense of reality because emotional abuse is meant to cause the victim to question their every thought and behaviour.”, writes Cathy Meyer .

The Effect of Traumatic Stress

“Traumatic events are extraordinary”, writes Judith Lewis Herman, “not because they occur rarely, but rather because they overwhelm the ordinary human adaptations to life. They generally involve threats to life or bodily integrity, or close encounters with violence and death”. (Trauma and Recovery, Judith Lewis Herman) ‘They confront human beings with the extremities of hopelessness and terror and evoke the responses of catastrophe.

The Recovery Process

Recovery from a domestic violent relationship involves being in supportive relationships with other people. Because the abuse happened in a relationship, trust in relationships has been distorted. The need to isolate for safety is a feeling that comes from thoughts of fear. A woman recovering from domestic violence needs to renew connections with other people, because of the damage done in her most intimate relationship.

The Basic Capacities for Recovery

Re-Establishing Personal Power

Empowerment comes from within. It is a genuine stability that comes from the inner self. It does not come from taking power from another source or putting power over another, which is what happens in unequal relationships.

Through a therapy that allows the exploration of Self, and in safe relationships, the discovery of one's own power can take place.

Empowerment restores the relationship with the Self and enables healthy relationships with others.

The copyright of the article Stepping into Recovery from Domestic Violence in Abuse Recovery is owned by Rosalind Brenner. Permission to republish Stepping into Recovery from Domestic Violence in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.